Haha… finally my car had take to repair… After the repair, my car of course look more handsome than before. But when I look at it, yes, it is handsome than before, but I feel like missing the damage part of my car. It actually has a memory to me.

First, it is my first time that bang by a van, and I am alone in the car. The time the van bang my car, I was so scare, and I just don’t know how to respone to such situation, because it is the first time. Haiz… So unlucky that day…

Second, that day I actully really scare, and of course, the first person that I think of and feel want to tell the scary situation that I had meet to my boyfriend(but now is my ex-boyfriend already). But, unfortunately, he didn’t reply my message. He called me at 6p.m.(the accident is at 3p.m.). He said he forget to take his handphone out, that is why he didn’y reply me.

Actully after the accident I really feel like want someone to stay beside me to calm me down, but… Haiz…. When he called me that time, I just feel like why are you so late? Is just like when I have problem, need him to calm me or help me, he is just not at my side. This is what I think that time. After the accident, I really scare to drive, but I have to drive too, because my mum really no time to fetch me everytime when I have class.

But whatever it is, the car is finally had take to repair, and I just miss the damage part of my car, because it stated the moment that I had experience from. Although it had repair, but the image of the damage part is always in my memory.

Haiz… just started class then have lots of assignments have to do. Communication in Business, Management, Accounting 250 & 101. Haiz…  Every subject also have assignments and presentations. What to do? So damn busy now.

Management next week is the due date already, but I just finish collecting data. So tough to me. I hate this subject. After this assignment, then have group presentation. Find who to join my group? Is still a question. But I hope I get someone that can work with me.

CIB is worst than Management. Have to do the don’t know what milestone thing, then have to do weekly assignments some more. My presentation group make me crazy….. haiz…. What the most unresponesible group members that I had. How I going to pass my presentation? Sure die lor…

Accounting actually is not that difficult to me, because it is my favourite subject and I major in this. But the assignments is really a lots. And the accounting 101 that lecturer is so ‘ciong hei’. Repeat and repeat the same thing, give the same example again and again, make me so confuse. Haiz…

Hopefully this semester can finish quickily.

Please… I just want to make more new friends through internet. I don’t mean to find boyfriend here. Please don’t say you guys love me. I scare of that already.

Just yesterday, suddenly a guy say he loves me. No matter what reasons I give him and reject him how many times, he still not giving up. He said I don’t love him is ok but I can’t stop he loves me. Walao… I want to die ler…. Please… Stay away from me. I talk to you gentlely is don’t want to hurt you. I will feel bad if I hurt you. Just don’t say you love me again…

Those people that I know from msn messenger, many of them I never meet them before. Although sometimes I did feel curious about who are they and how they look, but my aim is just to make more friends, not to find boyfriend.

This had make me feel scare and I started to online less by using msn messenger already. Haiz…

Erm… Before I know him, my life is just normal, study, online, watch tv, go yoga… But after I get know him, my life start to change bit by bit…

I start to message everyday, I start to miss him, I start to think about him, I start to wait him  to date me out, wait his message…

I will happy when he message me, call me, date me… But I will sad when he is sad, he argue with me…

But now my life change back to normal. Without him, I just back to my normal life, study, online, watch tv, go yoga… But have added one more thing, which is miss… Sometimes I feel bored without his message, I feel lonely without his hug… Haiz…

Next week I going to start my 2nd semester of degree. Hopefully everything will go normal… Gambateh!

I know him last year of the month of June through a website. Then we start to chat at msn. That time I feel that he is a nice guy, so I decide to meet him.

That day I wait him at Asian Cafe (a cafe in front of Inti college) with my college friends. He came alone to meet me. When we meet, he did not talk much with me, but he talk with one of my friend, Mash. All my friends and I feel weird that why is he talking with Mash but not me, is like Mash and him know each other longer time than me. That moment I really don’t know why.

Then I started to date him out with my friends, because he had know them and we just out to sing k together. That was the first day he fetch me from college to Sunway Pyramid. All my friends don’t want to sit his car and just left me. He very gentleman, he open the car door for me. That time I feel very touching and I telling myself in this world still have such guy that so genlteman to ladies. I started feel he is really a nice guy, and now with gentleman.

After that is he date me out to watch movie. That day is 1st of August 2008, I still remember we watch The Mummy at The Summit with his college friends. Although that day I feel a little bit of boring with him at there, but I still enjoy that movie. After the movie, I still remember he take me to a park that near to his high school to play swing. He told me a lot of his high school story. It really amazing, he had a wonderful high school time. But I just have a sad and boring high school time, so I really feel envy to him that time. Then he send me home.

After that we just date each other out with friends, and sometime just both of us go for coffee. That time he told me many things. Many of his memory, no matter sad or happy and also had some funny time that he experienced. That time I feel that he is really different, different from the friends that I know, different things that he had faced in his high school time.

We not only date each other out, we also message at night. When I feel boring, I will message him to chat with him. I remember I asked him this question that time, I think he had forget what he answered me. The question is “Will we have no topic to chat after a time of period? Then how we solve this problem?” He answered me that we won’t faced this problem.

Until the month if September, he said he love me. He asked me can I give him a chance to chase him. I had think a while and answered him yes. My yes is mean I give a chance to him to chase me, but I haven accept him as my boyfriend. But he had treat me as his girlfriend. The first “I love you” message that he send to me is at 14 September 2008. This message I still keep until now. I feel it is so meaning to me, so I keep it until now still not willing to delete this message.

Finally, at the 16 November 2008, I had accept him as my boyfriend. I accept him is because he is a nice and gentleman guy, when I need help, he willing to help me. And the first “I love you” message that I send to him is at the 5 December 2008. I also keep the message that he reply to me, “I love you too”. I keep this message because I don’t want to forget this date. Actually every “I love you” message that he send to me I also will keep them for a month. But the first ”I love you” message I still keep it until now.

Then is the first time we out to date at the Christmas day, 25 December 2008. We went to Mid Valley. Actually we planned to watch movie, but we are late. It had too many people there, so we decide not to watch movie, just walk around. I still remember the first time he hold my hand that feeling. His warm hand make me feel warm. That time my hand started to sweat, but he don’t mind and still holding my hand. That time I really feel shy. The first guy that holding my hand and walk around. This is my first date at Mid Valley. This is also the date that I started my first love with him.

After that we just as usual message each other every night to tell how had we pass our day, how we feel. If had happy time then we tell each other to share our happiness. If had sad and unhappy time, we tell each other to feel better.

Then Valentine Day had come. That time I my final exam for law is also coming. But I also thinking what should I buy for him as Valentine present, and also his birthday present. I still remember that day I went to buy present with my friends, Michelle and Siew Fang, is the day I exam. My exam time is at the evening, 5.30p.m., so I went to buy present at the noon. That day is really scare me. My friend went to the wrong way, I almost can’t go for the exam. But luckily, she still found the way back to college. And of course, I had bought the present for him.

 Valentine day of course we out to celebrate. He bought a couple watch and give one to me. He help me wear it in car. Then I take out the present and give it to him. Actually nothing special that day. We just exchange present and just as usual walked around and take lunch. When he fetch me home, he told me that he give me this watch has a meaning. At night, he told me this again through message, and I also had save it in my handphone until now, because I scare I forget the meaning of this watch. It really touching.

I had forget when. I just remember that had one day we went to Mid Valley and having tea at The Prince (outside The Garden). It raining that day. A heavy raining day. We sat in that cafe a long time, but we did not talk much. I don’t know why we like start no topic to said. We actually was waiting the rain to stop to get back to The Garden, then only we can back home. But the rain non-stop. Then he decide to run back to The Garden under the rain. The most unforgetable moment is he hold my hand tight and we run back to The Garden. That day we had get wet. I really feel cold and like going to fall sick. He know I feel cold, so he hug me tight to let me feel warm. Then I went to toilet to dry myself, then we back home. After he drive out the car from The Garden, the sun was out, the rain was stop. That time I was like ==”’ sweat…..

After that we just as usaul message each other everyday. Until the month of May, our relationship start to have problem. He start to argue with me many thing and that at the end of month, I did ask him to break with me. (I had write it at my earlier blog page) But after that I had forgive him and give him another chance. But is still we haven solve our problem.

Actually I realize that we start to have communication barriers. I don’t know why that I start don’t understand him, I feel like he is not the guy that I know last year. I don’t know is he had change or I had problem. We just like nothing to tell each other. Last night I finally know why. He say he don’t want tell me about his sadness because he don”t want I worry him. But as a pair of couple, telling each other about themselve, no matter happiness o sadness is the basic way that a couple communicate with each other. Then each of the couple will know what had happen to the each other, and how they feel. Then only they can communicate with each other and help each other.

The end of this story is I had break with him. But we are still friend. This is because I started to feel that we had problem in our relationship and if we still continue like that, we will suffer. Give back the freedom to he and I is the best way to solve our problem. Maybe we still don’t understand enough each other. And when we get together, we just know each other for six months. So we just need more time to understand each other more. When time pass longer, maybe we still have chance to become couple again. Finally I just want to tell him that:” I really love you, and thank you that you love me for this six months. Although now we are just friends, but maybe we will be happy more than become couple. Of course you still can tell me about your happiness and sadness, I will give you comment. If you have new target, I can help you to get her. My handphone is 24 hours waiting you to ‘disturb’ me. Hope you be happy….”