第五集

阿婆是窮人就個個都知, 所以佢是住是天橋底.但是經濟差了很多, 就多左人住橋底.今日又來了兩個新住客,一個是自閉的, 另一個就好暴粗, 見乜就踢乜….阿婆好驚出事,所以佢又報警…

婆: 喂, 呢度是咪鳩鳩鳩? (呢度是咪999?)
警: 阿婆, 又是你呀, 你是咪玩野啊, 今次又乜事呀?
婆: 呢度有個自慰仔! (呢度有個自閉仔!)
警: 阿婆, 你都幾好艷福喎, 成日都有呢D野睇, 人地自慰又關你乜事?
婆: 佢硬狗狗係度“作“下“作“下!(打飛機的動作)(佢on狗狗係度“賊“下“賊“下!)
警: 打飛機緊是硬啦, 咁又點呀?
婆: 仲有個人果度粗! (仲有個人好暴躁!)
警: 阿婆, “莊“人果度犯法喎, 唔好“莊“啦, 粗都同你冇關啦.
婆: 果度粗既週圍射野!(好暴躁既週圍踢野!)
警: 咁你而家點?
婆: 我好想條?! (我好想求救!)
警: 阿婆你都幾淫, 幾廿歲都諗埋D咁既野!
婆: 你可唔可以教我! (你可唔可以救我!)
警: 我而家教唔到你喎, 你行過去問下佢地!
婆: 我驚佢射我塊面! (我驚佢踢我塊面!)
警: 你話你都幾廿歲, 叫佢就住唔好顏射o羅!
婆: 我好想快D做! (我好想快D走!)
警: 咁你慢慢享受啦! 之後就收左線!

第六集唔好以為阿婆孤苦伶仃，其實佢仲有個弟婦親戚，但近排非典型肺炎肆虐，就連阿婆o既弟婦都中o左招，咁大年幾中o左招真係九死一生，而阿婆就o岩o岩知道o左自己弟婦奄奄一息，諗住去見佢最後一面，但係又唔知佢住o向邊間醫院，情急之下又走o左去報警啦……
阿婆：喂？呢度係咪係鳩鳩鳩(999)呀？差佬：乜成日都係你o既阿婆？今次又乜事呀？阿婆：我想搵底褲。
(我想搵弟婦。)
差佬：你想搵底褲咪慢慢搵囉，關我咩事呀？！阿婆：我而家冇屎眼玩。
(我而家冇時間搵。)
差佬：你有冇搵清楚呀你，你而家除o左條底褲應該易搵o的o格？阿婆：差佬哥哥可唔可以幫我玩？我而家著中腰gap「西」底褲，但而家玩o左o既西被屌完就甜，而家臭死，真係好插。
(差佬哥哥可唔可以幫我搵？我而家最重要o既係弟婦，但而家患o左o既係非典型肺炎，而家就死，真係好慘。)
差佬：條底褲gap到你塊西好痕呀？！不過我對你塊「西」冇任何興趣，何況又係臭「西」一塊，更加唔會玩啦！阿婆：我而家西水咸，求o下你快o的過o黎賴。(我而家係想喊，求o下你快o的過o黎啦。)

第7集

阿婆窮,又搵唔到野做,所以唯有靠住公援o係公屋度租間單位仔黎住,由於對面o既單位今日o岩o岩黎左個新入伙o既後生女,個後生女仲約埋十幾廿個friend一齊開生日會,佢地將d蛋糕亂咁掟之餘仲互o即忌廉~成班玩到癲晒~仲走埋出冷卷玩,一個唔留神o即左d忌廉落阿婆個身度,阿婆一怒之下又打左去報警喇:
差佬:999報案中心婆 :哎~鳩鳩鳩呀?我屋企對面個無杉女同成班人玩彈鳩呀!!!
(哎~999呀?我屋企對面個後生女同成班人玩蛋糕呀!!!)
差佬:又係你呀阿婆?咁人地玩集交又關你咩事呀?
婆 :佢地玩到出冷卷,有個男o既d野射左落我度,痴立立呀!!
差佬:下!!玩到咁撚癲!?咁你講個情況出黎睇下我幫唔幫到你啦?
婆 :宜家冷卷出面好多鳩fing黎fing去呀~!有個撚o既就叫d無杉女唔好彈得咁大力喇,好痛啦,同埋陰核都痴立立啊~!
(宜家冷卷出面好多糕掟黎掟去呀~!有個男o既就叫d後生女唔好掟得咁大力喇,好痛啦,同埋有玩都痴立立啊~!)
差佬:係真唔係呀阿婆?陰核都痴立立?
婆 :真哦!d鳩仲o係陰核o既人到啊!玩鳩o既就“lam”果d鳩啊!d鳩仲fing黎fing去,成個口都係啊!
(真哦!d糕仲o係有玩o既人到啊!玩夠o既就“lam”果d糕啊!d糕仲掟黎掟去,成個卷都係啊!!)
差佬:咁你“山“左度門咪算囉婆:唔得啊!我山左度門d鳩仲fing落我度門度澎澎聲啊!!仲叫我一齊玩啊,你仚家產我屌鳩你啊!
(唔得啊!我山左度門d糕仲掟落我度門度澎澎聲啊!!仲叫我一齊玩啊,你係咁慘我都救你啊!)
差佬:唔駛屌鳩我呀~最多我宜家派人去你度幫你啦好冇~你等陣啦婆:含撚啦,打你鳩啦~記住抹乾淨佢啊~
(係咁啦,等你救啦~記住抹乾淨佢啊~)
跟住阿婆個電話入面又再度剩下“嘟…嘟…嘟“o既聲喇……

第8集

阿婆: 喂, 係咪鳩鳩鳩呀?
警察: 阿婆, 今次又有咩野呀阿婆: 阿蛇, 我條鳩(狗)唔識郁呀警察: 嘩!阿婆, 識你咁耐都唔知你有鳩o既!?
阿婆: 係呀, 我條鳩都跟左我10 幾年囉, 唔知做咩佢而家唔識郁呀, 阿蛇你快D 救下佢呀警察: 阿婆, 係咪你平時亂咁玩你條鳩呀?
阿婆: 唔係呀, 我對佢好好架, 我成日打飛機(搭飛機)都搵埋佢架警察: 頂! 你成日打飛機唔怪之得佢唔識郁啦阿婆: 我吹極佢都唔識企起身呀 (阿婆幫隻狗做人工呼吸)
警察: 唉…算啦阿婆, 口交都唔掂即係死左架啦阿婆: 下? 我條鳩(狗)死左!? 咁我以後咪冇鳩(狗)用?

第9集

有一天,早上落緊一場大雨…啊婆因為冇拎傘加上有一檔買傘的檔口,所以想去買傘,原本每把傘要十元,但係老細調高d傘的價錢啊婆就同老細嘈起來,啊婆嘈到出哂火時就打999….
啊婆:喂!?係咪鳩鳩鳩啊?(999)
啊SIR:啊婆..又係你?
啊婆:係呀…我想叫你主持鳩到..
啊SIR:主持鳩到?今次係彈鳩定係屌HEI
啊婆:我今朝想買精,但係老西屌鳩d精的價錢…
(我今朝想買傘但係老細調高d傘的價錢)
啊SIR:下!?你要d精來做咩.
啊婆:更係要來蒸丸啦
(更係要來遮雨啦)
啊SIR:啊婆…….你真係………食家……
啊婆:啊SIR,咁你有冇精?
(啊SIR,咁你有冇傘)
啊SIR:我當然有啦…….
啊婆:比我啦…我好柒啊…
(比我啦,我好慘啊)
啊SIR:我點比你啊?
啊婆:你個HEI,仆你臭街, 含完射走緊
(LEE個係,撲你走街,行完食酒家)
啊SIR:下!?點去?
啊婆:你挫小撚然後去含十分鐘就得
(你坐小輪然後去行十分鐘就得)
啊SIR:好!!!我一陣去啊婆:你真係好淫一個
(你真係好人一個)
啊SIR:我係咩啊婆:你好撚HEI
(你可能係)
啊SIR:!@#!#%%^$&^

第10集

阿婆知道自己對面單位的人有SARS,但佢地又唔看醫生, 阿婆就去報警喇:
阿婆:鳩鳩鳩呀?我個農空又生屎呀!(我個鄰居有SARS呀!)
警察:你個空生屎關我鬼事呀!!!
阿婆:佢地唔很dum M巾!(佢地唔很看醫生)A?
佢地個仔打飛機呀!!!(佢地個仔dum飛機) 嫁飛機可能又生屎!
警察:打飛機點會生屎呀!!!
阿婆:佢地dum個仔一包!(一ba)
警察:一包what?
阿婆:橙呀(慘呀)
警察:痴嫁!
Cut線!

第11集

某天晚上,小明到公園裏玩的時候,看見有很多男人聚在一起,突然所有男人都變成人狼!
小明嚇到大叫,人狼們聽到小明的慘叫,所以所有人狼都追殺小明追到一半,小明便派佢隻狗出馬,試問一隻狗又怎能打倒所有人狼,所以隻狗被殺死了,之後,D人狼繼續追殺小明!
小明走左入後巷 ,發覺走頭無路,D人狼便圍住小明,幸好小明拾到把機關鎗,所以小明射死哂D人狼!
小明便拿起幾隻已被射死人狼屍體!小明說:[哈哈!拿幾隻人狼回家吃先]
整個過程都被阿婆看見了,所以阿婆立刻走去報警差人:[喂~]
阿婆:[喂呢度係咪鳩鳩鳩(999)呀]
差人:[咩叫做鳩鳩鳩呀~]
阿婆:[剛剛小明比好多陰囊(人狼)追殺呀]
差人:[什麼!陰囊都識得追殺人?]
阿婆:[追下追下,小明仲派隻鳩(狗)出來幫手!]
差人:[嘩!鳩打陰囊一定打得好激!]
阿婆:[但一隻鳩(狗)又點夠咁多陰囊(人狼)打呢!]
差人:[咁小明咪冇左條鳩!]
阿婆:[係呀!小明走仲左入後巷 ,但發覺走頭無路,D陰囊(人狼)便圍住小明!]
差人:[小明一定死左啦!]
阿婆:[幸好小明拾到把機關鎗,所以小明射死哂d陰囊(人狼),D血仲彈到落我塊臉到!]
差人:[咁好野!?]
阿婆:[小明忡想拿D回家吃!]
差人:[陰囊都吃,係咪人來的!?]
阿婆:[你快D清理現場,D陰囊(人狼)死哂係度,好肉酸!]
差人:[唔得,咁多囉體人死在一起!]
阿婆:[冇囉體人,只有陰囊(人狼)的!]
差人:[冇囉體人!!只係得陰囊,個陰囊識飛的嗎?]
阿婆:[個陰囊(人狼)有手有腳,個頭好似隻鳩(狗)咁!]
差人:[九唔撘八!]
之後,個差人就CUT左線…..

Yesterday, after my class, just as usual, my mum fetch me home. But, when my mum drive in front of Sunway Pyramid, the accident just happen. In front of my eyes. I was shock and my heart almost jump out of my body. Walao…

The motorcyclist bang behide a Wira. He was blooding, his nose and mouth, and even his skin of his hand was out. Oh my God… Although he still can stand and walk, my mum said this accident definately cause that guy hurt inside. I was so scare that he will die after few days…

I scare the whole day, until I can’t concentrate and relax at my yoga class. This was the first time I saw an accident just in front of my eyes… the sound, the blood, that guy, the scene…. Oh no…

Please… someone help me… help me forget all these… I going to be crazy… =s

The SPM Award is coming soon, which is on Wednesday: 29 October. I waiting this for so long time. Haha…

After I get this amount of money, the first thing I will do is having dinner with my family, of course I have to pay for it. Then, I will buy a new handphone for myself. But, which handphone should I buy? Hmm… Sony Ericson or Nokia? If I can buy two of them, then I no need to think so much. But, I have not enough money for two. Nevermind, one is better none. Haha…

I don’t know what happen to him. I don’t know why he always mention that ‘he is not handsome, he don’t know how to flirting and and don’t know how to care someone’. But, did’t I ever say i mind about it? Yes, I mention to him that I feel boring to be with a person who have a lots of knowledge. I know he like to read and he really full of knowledge. Yes, sometimes I really feel quite bored to be with him. But, did I ever say that I don’t want to be with him because he is not handsome and boring? NO… I did’t say that.

Yesterday, he say,’ yes, i’m(he) ‘zhi bei’(chinese) coz i (he) just have knowledge n dun kno flirting… u (I) say tat u(I) will b boring if stay with a ‘book’(he)… so can u(I) just leave me(he) alone’.

After I get this message, I really feel so sad. I feel myself so bad that hurt him again and again. I just playing with him that time. Before he send me that message, he say we are like a couple in relatinship. Then, I just reply him ’speechless’. Maybe because I did’t respone to this then he feel that sad. I’m so sorry. Actually, I just waiting him to ask me that ‘question’. Just a question. I hope he know what question is it.

“I won’t leave you alone until you really want me to leave you.”

In this month, I have a lot of work to do: assignments, essay, debate, presentation, report, and is going to exam. I feel so stress in this month and even the next month. The essay is so difficult, the presentation have only one week to prepare, the debate team like no idea to argu, the exam is coming… “Oh my God… Why is life so difficult?”

Haiz… The exam date is on 24 November, but my birthday is on 23 of November. Why so unlucky?